I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
