You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
