I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
