I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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