party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
and you said cock pushups were impossible
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
