Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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