and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
