While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
