i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
