I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize