ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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