You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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