so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
