As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
