shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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