the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize