her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Acid is not a monday night drug
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
