I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Can I color on your dick again?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
