Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
