Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
