just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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