and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
