yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
