Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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