I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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