she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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