i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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