Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
