he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
