So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
