yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
