No, you can still breathe under the balls.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
