I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
