He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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