Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
