i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Shame - the story of my life.
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