I CAN MOONWALK!
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
