We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
