Sponge bath it is.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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