He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
