he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
