$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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