i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
