roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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