Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Randomize
