Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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