Pappa wants mamma naked
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
