I'm lost and stupid without you.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
