We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize