I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
