so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
