Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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