Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
