I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
