She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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