Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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