What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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