You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is my gift to your gina
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
