it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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