I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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