I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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