you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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