I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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