Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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